Life Back to Normal?

So I finally got a computer after lacking a successfully working one for a few months. My fail of a computer resulted in deleted lab reports the night before they were due and a deleted resume. Whatevs. I feel like my life is now back to normal. Normal as in back to my white affluent life in which I take everything for granted? I have had to do excessive amounts of reading for my TFA training and they frequently use the term "white affluent" in contrast to those who live in low-income communities. It is not an attempt to be racist, but I sure hope to not take for granted the many blessing that I have in my life.

The sad thing is, the first thing my mom said was: "You better not them steal that computer." This is the mindset and prospective that I hope to and will avoid.

I mean who even knows what normal even is these days. Let's face it: if you are not weird, you are weird.

So don't feel sorry for me.

High Expectations

I cried this week. Haven't done that in a while but zariously I did. Why? Because of a teacher's stories of success and failure. It is so easy to become so emotionally attached to students. You want with everything in you for them to succeed. Sure did make me realize that teaching is something that I am passionate about. It is so hard to not expect some all powerful two year experience where I just walk in and empower all my students like some Hollywood movie. But I do expect me to be played by Liam Neeson if this is the case. But those are not the expectations that I need to be most concerned about...

Students in low-income communities do not lack potential. The potential is there, it is just ignored. And that my friends is not okay. There are so many theories out there as to why these students seem to be more than three grade levels behind in school ranging from race, class, racism, family and group structure, and so many more. Teach for America's main thought in bridging this achievement gap is by holding students to high expectations. I have no doubt that this is going to be so hard for me to do. It is more important to avoid sympathy and pity when it comes to a student's education. How hard is it to look passed hunger, crime, lack of sleep, and parents who do not care. But it is undeniable that the best way for me to show my care for my students is to constantly push them to where they need to be academically.

This makes me think about Dr. Wit's Mammalian class and how true holding students to higher standards results in them achieving so much more. His class was soo much harder, but every single person in their took on the challenge to learn and study as much as they possible could. He set out his expectations and expected us to meet them. I always did enough to get by in school. And when the bar of this "enough to get by" was raised, I was forced to put in more effort. He knew we were capable. It is proven that students perform based on what teachers expect. I probably would still be in school if Dr. Wit had not pushed me to my potential and believed in me.

I hope I can hold myself to these high expectations. As a teacher, friend, and most importantly a follower of Jesus Christ. He and those around us deserve our best. We should not allow ourselves to settle for anything that is not our best. That is what my prayer is: to meet high expectation. Expectations for myself and for my students. High expectations is not just something you believe, it is something you DO.

With Every End Comes a New Beginning?

Yeah, let's just go ahead and start this blog off by being honest- the title of this first blog is just a pathetic attempt to make myself feel just a little bit better. It is an attempt to make leaving the best four years of my life at Auburn as just the end to a chapter of life. If that is the case, it was for sure the "rising action" and "climax" all in one. Hope that does not mean that the only things in the future are the "falling action" and "conclusion." But whatsoever it may be, it is unavoidably here. The best thing I know how to do is embrace it, and who knows, we all may meet some new bff's in the process (but again honesty-no one will ever compare to anyone who has ever attended Auburn).

I do want this blog to be founded on honesty in every attempt to avoid Rob from claiming that it is some sort of "bragging" about my life. I don't think graduating college is anything to brag about unless you are talking to your grandparents or trying to get some sort of job. Both of which I am not as I talk to myself . So, this blog is not a "brag," only a coping mechanism to document the next chapters of this slightly pathetic, occasionally humorous novel of my life.

Now to the intention of this first post... to tell you the reason behind the name of this blog. I couldn't decide on Are You Zar? or this one, but I figured we could turn Are You Zar? into a much better fail blog. All you know who know me know that I love to depart with a sometimes awkward, always meaningful "Never Change," which in all reality should not hold much truth. It is an effort to let you know that I care about you, like you the way you are, and don't want you to change. Most of us wish our life in Auburn would "never change" and we could eternally be fleeing studying to hang out with friends, doing as many random things together as possible, eat Chickfila and Big Blue for every other meal, and share life over breakfast. For zar, I wish that could be my job; hanging out with friends.
The flaw in this "never change" statement was pointed out to me by Phillip letting me know that we should be constantly changing as we mature and grow in our relationship with Christ. But, saying "change" would only be some Obamaism that I wouldn't want to stand for. So never change it is with the addition of a tag line: unless it is for the good or God changes you. It is really only necessary to point out that God is the only person, place, or thing that will actually "never change." He will always be loving, sovereign, and good. It is this truth that can aid our transition to something completely new and different. We are going to have friends because He is love, things are going to work out because He is sovereign, and life will be a-okay because He is good! "He Never Changes!"

It is only with that outlook that I hope to begin this journey in Teach for America in Memphis, TN. The subject, location, and timing are all not ideal, but I am clinging to the promise that God has for my life. (Honesty again: I miss my friends like crazy)

I ask for your prayers for myself and my students as I try to mold them into the promises that God has for them.